Social media, radio, and TV often paint the holidays as a time of endless joy and laughter. But let’s be real—that’s not the reality for everyone. For many folks, the holidays bring up a mix of anxiety, sadness, and even loneliness. Coping with anxiety during the holidays can be tough, and it’s something a lot of folks struggle with more than they might let on.
Some common reasons people experience anxiety feelings during this time of year are:
Financial hardship: If your bank account is overdrawn or your credit cards are maxed out, it can be hard to buy presents for loved ones, especially your children. This feels awful. Often, the story we tell ourselves about this contributes to diminished feelings of self-worth and guilt.
Stress: It’s easy to become overwhelmed from the added stress of shopping, meal planning, and travel. This can be particularly true for women. This is because women are usually the ones holding the burden of managing all of these responsibilities. Not always, but often.
Grief and Loneliness: People tend to feel incredibly lonely during the holidays. Whether it’s from being single, recently divorced, or having just lost a love one. Sadly, the holidays are often a reminder of what we don’t have or what we wish we did.
Strategies For Coping With Anxiety During The Holidays
1. Feel Your Feelings – Don’t Try To Ignore Them
Coping with anxiety during the holidays effectively means allowing yourself to feel what your feeling without judgment.
If you’re grieving, it’s important to be honest about how you’re feeling. Maybe you feel pressure to put on a happy face for family and friends, but forcing yourself to seem fine can often backfire, leaving you feeling even worse. It can even stir up resentment, which just makes things more complicated. Grief and sadness are a normal part of life, no matter the season, and it’s totally okay to let yourself feel what you’re feeling. And if someone in your life can’t understand that, it’s absolutely okay to set boundaries and take some space from them.
2. Give Something Besides Money
Sometimes one of the best ways of coping with anxiety during the holidays means giving your time and energy, not money, to those in need.
If finances are adding to your stress, especially when coping with anxiety during the holidays, try focusing on other ways to give that don’t cost much. You could volunteer at a local nonprofit, cook a special meal for friends and family, or use your unique talents to create something meaningful. Love to write? Write a funny bedtime story for your kids. Enjoy painting? Create a mural on a canvas as a heartfelt gift. The reality is, thoughtful and creative gestures from the heart often mean the most and are usually cherished far more than expensive presents.
3. Decide Who You Want To See
Coping with anxiety during the holidays effectively means being judicious about who you will (and won’t) see.
Too many people get stuck spending time with those they’d rather not spend time with over the holidays and end up creating more anxiety. Decide who you want to spend time with. Who makes you feel the best when you’re around them? Who brings out the best in you? Who makes you laugh and makes you feel good about yourself?
Spend time with those people – family or not.
4. Prioritize Your Values
Take some time to reflect during the holidays to make sure you (and your actions) are aligned with who you want to be and how you want to show up for those in your world.
It may sound simple, but many of us often lose sight of our priorities during the chaos of the holidays. Pause and take a few minutes to reflect on what you actually want to get out of this time of year. Is it time with family? Is it a break from work and the responsibilities that weigh on you throughout the year? Is it to get reconnected with your spirituality? Once you have the answer, create a plan to support your priorities and follow through.
5. Focus On Self-Care
Coping with anxiety during the holidays means focusing on yourself and taking care of yourself – first.
Many of us (especially parents of young children) forget to put on our oxygen mask first during this time of year. Take a break. Slow down. BREATHE. Take care of yourself first so you can be your best self. Exercise, eat (mostly) healthy, drink plenty of water. Read your favorite book again or watch your favorite movie. Catch up with an old friend. Participate in random acts of kindness.
Life is short and so are the holidays. If you’re struggling to cope with anxiety during the holidays, find an awesome therapist you like and trust to help get through the holidays with peace and serenity!
James Killian, LPC is the Principal Therapist & Owner of Arcadian Counseling in Greater New Haven, CT where they specialize in helping over-thinkers, high achievers, and perfectionists reduce stress, increase fulfillment and enhance performance so they can move From Surviving To Thriving.