When it comes to enhancing your sex life and strengthening the bond with your partner, many couples consider exploring new avenues. One unconventional, but increasingly popular way to spice things up is watching porn with your partner.
While the idea of watching porn together may raise eyebrows for some, it can be a surprisingly effective (and fun) way for couples wanting to deepen their intimacy and communication.
What happens after watching porn with your partner
1. Exploration & Open Communication
One of the key benefits of watching porn together is that it encourages open communication between partners. Many couples find it difficult to discuss their desires, fantasies, or boundaries, which can lead to misunderstandings and unmet needs in the bedroom.
Watching porn with your partner can create a safe and non-judgmental platform for couples to explore their desires together. Watching it can facilitate conversations about what turns each partner on and what they might want to try in their own intimate experiences.
By sharing their thoughts and feelings while watching porn, couples can establish a deeper level of trust and intimacy. This open communication not only helps them understand each other’s desires better but also allows them to find common ground and create a more fulfilling sexual connection.
2. Variety & Inspiration
Monotony in the bedroom can lead to a decline in sexual satisfaction for couples. Watching porn with your partner can be an excellent way to introduce variety and inspiration into your sex life. Pornography offers a vast array of genres and scenarios, catering to a wide range of fantasies and preferences. Couples can use it as a source of inspiration to try new things and break free from the same old same old.
It’s a good idea to remember that watching porn together doesn’t mean trying to replicate every scene or position you see on screen. Instead, use it as a starting point for exploring what you both find exciting and want to try. This can reignite the spark in your relationship and make intimacy more adventurous and enjoyable.
3. Shared Fantasy & Connection
Fantasizing about sexual scenarios is a common human experience, and sharing these fantasies with your partner can lead to a deeper connection. Watching porn with your partner allows you to explore shared fantasies in a safe way. This experience can be highly erotic and create a sense of intimacy that extends beyond just the bedroom.
By indulging in mutual fantasies through pornography, couples can strengthen their emotional and physical connection. It fosters an understanding of each other’s desires and can bring a renewed sense of excitement to your sex life. Building a shared fantasy world can lead to a stronger, more passionate connection between you and your partner.
4. Reduce Performance Pressure
Performance anxiety can be a significant obstacle for many. Sometimes we feel the pressure to perform perfectly in bed, which can lead to stress and anxiety. Watching porn with your partner can help alleviate some of this pressure as it reminds us that sex is not about perfection, but about pleasure and intimacy.
Watching actors in porn make mistakes or improvise can normalize imperfections and make couples feel more at ease with their own bodies and abilities. This relaxed mindset can result in a more comfortable and enjoyable sexual experience.
You may also want to consider watching a specific category called “ethical porn.” Ethical porn, which is often produced by female filmmakers, is more realistic and not degrading, so it can be more enjoyable to watch as a couple.
Even still, if you try watching porn with your partner and it makes either of you uncomfortable, no worries. Agree to close that browser window and maybe give that random Netflix movie another chance.
Potential Adverse Effects
Although watching porn with your partner has many potential benefits, it may also negatively impact your relationship. And, when watched in excess, porn can also cause problems in your relationship.
1. It could lead to warped expectations
Porn movies definitely offer a warped view of what beauty really is. It can create unrealistically high expectations whereas the reality may not match your imaginative hopes and standards. As a result, it may also lead to frustration, aggression and infidelity. Therefore, it’s a good idea to practice mindfulness as you approach this venture.
2. It could lead to porn addiction
The visual and physical appeal of porn may impact a person’s mental or social well-being. Increased porn viewing may lead to social isolation, loss of interest in career and other activities etc. It may also make you highly dependent on it due to the immediate sexual gratification. As a result, the usage can get out of control and trigger compulsive behavior.
3. It could affect your sexual drive and libido
Having sex with your partner in real-life may become a foreign concept, as porn can decrease your physical drive with the possibility of making you sexually lazy. Porn may also have certain side effects including loss of libido and even difficulty in lasting longer.
It could also make regular sex seem boring as it may not have the same sensual and visual appeal as pornography. Therefore it’s a good idea to not use porn as replacement, but rather an accessory for better sexual well-being.
Let’s face it, watching porn together may not be for everyone, but it can be a valuable tool for some couples looking to enhance their sex life. It can encourage open communication, provide inspiration, foster shared fantasies, and reduce performance pressure. But it’s essential to approach watching porn with your partner with respect, consent, and boundaries in mind. Communication is key to ensuring that both you and your partner feel comfortable and that the experience strengthens your connection.
Life is short and relationships are work. If you and your partner are struggling to connect sexually – or in any way – find an awesome couples therapist you like and trust to help you reconnect and find your passion.
James Killian, LPC is the Principal Therapist & Owner of Arcadian Counseling in Greater New Haven, CT where they specialize in helping over-thinkers, high achievers, and perfectionists reduce stress, increase fulfillment and enhance performance so they can move From Surviving To Thriving.