By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have been in a relationship and wondered (if only for a passing moment) if our partner was cheating. If you don’t know any of the signs your partner is cheating it can make these moments even more nerve-wracking.

Remember when Ashley Madison, the site that helps people cheat on their spouses, was hacked? When the news broke, I’m betting there were plenty of folks who probably wondered if their own partners would show up on the list.

A survey by polling company YouGov revealed some alarming statistics. When they asked 1,000 Americans about their fidelity, 21% of men and 19% of women admitted that had cheated on their partners. ???? Another 7% stated they would rather not answer the question. ???? It’s safe to say we can probably put that 7% in the ‘Yes’ column.”

Another study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, discovered that the average person has about a 42% chance of cheating on their partner. 9% of these participants admitted they had already strayed.

If these numbers are making you wonder about your own relationship, I don’t blame you.

4 signs your partner is Cheating

While these are potential signs, don’t interpret this as. ‘Yes, my spouse is cheating” or “No, they aren’t.” These behaviors could be indicative of other issues present in the relationship or simply with the individual.

1. More Time Away from Home

Has your partner suddenly become a social butterfly? Are they spending time at social events or out with co-workers after work? Does their job suddenly require they spend more time on out-of-town travel assignments? While this could be a sign of many things, it could also be one of the signs your partner is cheating.

Staying connected intimately with your partner and maintaining interested in their day-to-day lives as well as solid communication is critical in a relationship. If you’re successful in this arena, it makes it easier to have a conversation when social behaviors start to change abruptly and unexpectedly.

2. Secretive Smartphone Usage

Do you find your partner spending more time texting on his or her smartphone? When you enter the room, do they suddenly put it down? Did they change their passcode to their phone and no longer want to share it with you?

While these behaviors can certainly be viewed as suspicious in nature, keep in mind there could be other explanations at play here.

3. They Seem More Irritable

Do they seem like they get easily irritated by anything you say or do? Do they blow up when asked simple questions or accuse you of accusing them of something? Are they overly suspicious of seemingly innocuous behaviors on your part?

While there are a plethora of explanations for this type of behavior in relationships, one of the more common ones is that your partner is being unfaithful.

4. Lack of Sexual Desire

Even though they are getting slimmer and wearing tighter, sexier clothing in public, they have a lack of sexual desire in your direction. Yikes! This is definitely a scary one for sure.

While lack of sexual desire is common in relationships (especially as we age), it’s also a sign your partner may be getting their desires fulfilled from someone else.

Recovery from An Affair is Possible

While it can be brutally painful to be the victim of infidelity, the good news is, you can recover from an affair. When the offender shows true remorse and the partner is ready to truly forgive, healing can begin, and the relationship can become even stronger than it once was. Often, this requires the guidance of a well-trained therapist to help each partner navigate and communicate their emotions with each other.

James Killian, LPC is the Principal Therapist & Owner of Arcadian Counseling in New Haven, CT where they specialize in helping over-thinkers, high achievers, and perfectionists reduce stress, increase fulfillment and enhance performance so they can move From Surviving To Thriving.