Compassion; a wonderful, human trait. It’s the ability to empathize with others, to feel their pain, and to want to help. But if you spend a lot of time caring for others—whether in your professional life as a therapist, nurse, or caregiver, or in your personal life—there’s a risk of developing something called compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue is a form of emotional exhaustion that can sneak up on you, affecting your mental and physical well-being. While some signs of compassion fatigue are obvious, like feeling drained or burned out, others are more subtle and might surprise you. Here are five unexpected signs that you might be experiencing compassion fatigue.

Signs of Compassion Fatigue

1. Increased Irritability and Cynicism

One of the surprising signs of compassion fatigue is an increase in irritability and cynicism. You might find yourself snapping at people over small things or becoming easily frustrated in situations that normally wouldn’t bother you. This isn’t just a bad mood—it’s a sign that your emotional resources are depleted. The cynicism might manifest as negative thoughts about the very people you’re trying to help or a growing sense of detachment from your work or relationships. You might start to think, “What’s the point?” or “Does any of this really matter?” These thoughts are indicators that you’re struggling to maintain the same level of compassion you once had.

2. Difficulty Sleeping or Nightmares

Compassion fatigue doesn’t just affect your waking hours—it can also disrupt your sleep. You might have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or even experience nightmares related to the people or situations you’re trying to help. Your mind might replay distressing scenes or you might find yourself lying awake, unable to turn off your thoughts. Sleep is essential for emotional recovery, so when it’s disrupted, it can create a vicious cycle. Poor sleep leaves you even more vulnerable to compassion fatigue, which in turn makes it harder to sleep. If you notice that your sleep patterns have changed and you’re more tired than usual, this could be a sign that compassion fatigue is taking a toll.

3. Feeling Numb or Disconnected

Another surprising sign of compassion fatigue is a sense of numbness or emotional disconnection. You might find that you no longer feel as deeply about situations or people that used to move you. Instead of being overwhelmed by emotions, you might feel nothing at all. This can be particularly troubling for people who are naturally empathetic, as it feels like you’ve lost a part of yourself. This emotional numbness is a defense mechanism—your mind’s way of protecting you from the constant barrage of stress and suffering you’re exposed to. However, it can also lead to feelings of guilt or confusion, as you wonder why you’re not feeling the way you “should.”

4. Decreased Empathy

Compassion fatigue can also lead to a decrease in empathy. You might find it harder to connect with others’ emotions, or you might feel less motivated to help. This isn’t because you don’t care—it’s because your emotional resources are stretched too thin. You might start to distance yourself from others, avoiding situations that require emotional engagement. This can lead to strained relationships, both at work and in your personal life. If you find yourself feeling indifferent or less concerned about others, it’s a sign that your compassion reserves are running low, and you might need to take steps to replenish them.

5. Physical Symptoms and Health Issues

Compassion fatigue doesn’t just affect your mind—it can also manifest in your body. You might start to notice physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or muscle tension. These symptoms are your body’s way of signaling that something is wrong. Over time, chronic stress from compassion fatigue can weaken your immune system, making you more susceptible to illness. You might also find that you’re more fatigued, even after a full night’s sleep, or that you’re experiencing frequent aches and pains. These physical symptoms can be easy to dismiss or attribute to something else, but they’re an important sign that your body is under stress.

What to Do If You’re Experiencing Compassion Fatigue

Recognizing the signs of compassion fatigue is the first step toward addressing it. If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s important to take action. Start by prioritizing self-care. This might mean taking a break, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist, or finding ways to reduce your workload. Mindfulness practices, like meditation or deep breathing, can also help you reconnect with your emotions and reduce stress.

Setting boundaries is crucial, too. It’s okay to say no or to step back from situations that are draining your energy. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup—taking care of yourself is essential if you want to continue to care for others.

Compassion fatigue is a normal response to the demands of caring, but it doesn’t have to take over your life. By recognizing the signs and taking proactive steps to address them, you can protect your well-being and continue to offer the compassion that makes you who you are.

James Killian, LPC is the Principal Therapist & Owner of Arcadian Counseling in Greater New Haven, CT where they specialize in helping over-thinkers, high achievers, and perfectionists reduce stress, increase fulfillment and enhance performance so they can move From Surviving To Thriving.